One of the most important things I need to clarify is that “men’s behaviour change” is not the same as “anger management”.

One of the principles of the Heavy M.E.T.A.L program is about unravelling the myths and excuses passed on from earlier generations that men have adopted as being the “norm” to justify their anger. The word “anger” is used to disguise the behaviour which is, in actual fact, abuse. Anger is just another emotion, and it’s ok to be angry, just like feeling sad, happy, insecure, jealous or excited etc. The problem is in how you express the emotion.

I’ve often heard men say things like, “I’d had enough”, “I lost it”, “I blew my stack” or “It was a knee-jerk reaction”. Those on the receiving end of such behaviour often support this perception by describing the man as being bad-tempered, having a short fuse like his father or brother, etc. These justifications suggest that the man can’t manage his anger and therefore his behaviour is excusable. Rationalising this behaviour also fails to acknowledge that men can be violent and controlling when they are not angry or non-violent even when they are angry.

So, why do I use the term “Anger Management” on the home page of this web site? Anger is a term that most people can relate to and it’s a label that society has used to make sense of men’s behaviour. A label so embedded in the media that when most men or women are searching for help they use this term in searching the Internet for help. Hence how you most likely came across this web site.

The term has become firmly linked to family violence. I have deliberately used this term on my website so that for men and women who are searching the internet for help will be able to find me.

What terms did you use to find this web site? If you typed in something different, then please let me know by email so I can help others find their way here. Regardless of how you got here, you have found us.

My service is for men who find themselves caught up in a cycle of behaviour that they and others recognise as abusive. It’s for men who want to change old behaviours that leave others feeling frightened, intimidated or as though they are walking on eggshells. I want to help men whose families are fed up with carrying the responsibility for their destructive behaviour and who will benefit from the services that I provide. I want to help men live happier and more fulfilled lives.  

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any concerns with the content of this site or any suggestions you would like to share.