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In this article I discuss something that can feel incredibly scary yet profoundly life-changing when embraced. We often avoid it because of fear and past experiences—but when we lean into it, it can transform our relationships and ourselves.
That "something" is vulnerability.
We don't often associate vulnerability with strength, but it's one of the most powerful tools for creating deep connections. When we show our real selves to others without the masks we hide behind, we invite them to know us, accept us, and even love us for who we are.
But I know what you might be thinking. Isn't vulnerability risky?
Absolutely. It takes courage to show who we are—to talk about what we're struggling with or admit when we're hurting. Many avoid being vulnerable because of fears that go back to experiences where being open didn't feel safe. But as I'll share with you today, vulnerability isn't a weakness; it's the ultimate act of bravery and strength.
Why Is It Hard to Be Vulnerable?
Most of us struggle to open up to others because of three big fears:
These fears are entirely normal. They're often tied to past experiences when we took emotional risks, and things didn't turn out how we hoped.
But here's the key idea: Vulnerability builds trust and authentic connection—its a superpower.
How Hiding Your Feelings Impacts Relationships
Imagine this. A friend asks, "Are you okay?" You're not, but instead of saying what's on your mind, tell them, "I'm fine."
We've all done it. We hide behind the mask of appearing strong, even when struggling inside. But what happens when we do this?
Over time, that mask creates walls between us and others. The people we care about see only the version of us we present to the world—not our full, authentic selves. And when they feel shut out or unneeded, relationships suffer.
Even worse, bottling up emotions doesn't make them disappear. Instead, they build up over time, creating stress, overwhelm, and resentment. It's like burying feelings under a pile of rocks that eventually turn into a volcano.
When the eruption happens, it might look like irritation over small things or an emotional outburst that surprises everyone, including yourself. Often, this pushes people away, even though deep down, what you might want most is to feel understood and supported.
I speak from experience. I've been there, and I'm guessing you have, too. But the good news is that there's a way to break this cycle, and it starts with being vulnerable.
The Transformative Power of Vulnerability
Vulnerability allows us to create space for understanding, repair trust, and build deeper relationships. When we're open about what we're feeling—even just a little—we invite others in. Instead of guessing what might bother us, they gain the clarity they need to connect and support us.
Here's what's impressive. Vulnerability often strengthens relationships in ways we can't predict.
I'll share a deeply personal story that changed my life.
A few years ago, I had a moment with my son that taught me how powerful honesty can be. Like many parents, I thought strength meant always having it together and knowing what to do. But one day, I chose to take off that mask and be honest with him.
I sat down and said, "I don't always get it right. I'm sorry for the times my anger has hurt you."
It was one of the hardest things I've done as a parent. I felt unsure about his response but knew that showing him my true self was paramount. And do you know what happened? His reaction was incredible.
He said, "I've been struggling with anger, too. But hearing you say this makes me feel less alone."
That moment brought us closer than we'd been in years. What I thought would make me seem "weak" created a bond built on mutual understanding. Vulnerability turned into the bridge we needed to connect.
Moments like that remind me of this truth I want you to take with you today. Vulnerability isn't about never being scared. It's about being scared, showing up anyway, and discovering the beauty in connection.
How to Be More Vulnerable (Step by Step)
If opening up feels overwhelming, you're not alone. Thankfully, being vulnerable doesn't have to mean spilling all your emotions at once. It starts with small, manageable steps.
1. Know Your Triggers
Take some time to reflect on what makes it hard for you to share your feelings. Are there particular people or situations that feel unsafe? Do you notice patterns, like shutting down during conflicts?
Try writing your thoughts in a journal. You might uncover that some fears of vulnerability are tied to past experiences where you felt judged or rejected. Awareness of these triggers is the first step in taking back control.
2. Be Kind to Yourself
Being vulnerable is hard, and you won't get it perfect every time. That's okay.
If you share something personal and feel awkward later, shift your inner dialogue. Instead of thinking, "Why did I say that?" try, "It's okay—I'm learning."
Self-compassion makes it easier to try again.
3. Start Small in Safe Spaces
You don't have to share your deepest fears with everyone right away. Begin with someone you trust. It could be a close friend, a partner, or a family member.
Say something simple like, "I've been feeling overwhelmed lately, and I'm not sure how to handle it."
Small, vulnerable moments like this build confidence over time and show others that it's okay to be open, too.
4. Remember That Vulnerability Is Strength
It's natural to feel scared when you put your true self out there. Think of vulnerability as climbing a tall tree. At first, it feels shaky and uncertain, but the more you climb, the stronger and braver you become.
This mindset helps you push through the discomfort because you can focus on the reward waiting at the top: connection, understanding, and deeper relationships.
Vulnerability is Worth the Risk
Before we wrap up, I want to challenge you this week. Think of a tiny way you can practice vulnerability. It could be telling someone how you feel or asking for help.
These small actions add up over time, creating a life where you feel seen, heard, and supported for who you are—not the mask you wear.
And remember this. Whenever you open up, you give someone else permission to do the same. Vulnerability can create a ripple effect of courage and connection.
If you want to dig deeper into these insights, I invite you to watch Episode 2 of my series, Behind The Mask. It's all about navigating the challenges of showing your authentic self while learning to connect in ways that truly matter.
Take a moment, to reflect over this, and see what resonates with you. You might find the push you need to take your first step toward a more connected life.
Remember, your vulnerability is your strength.